Target Women - Feed Your F***ing Family

Shifting of weight . . .

• Guess who's going back on birth control? That's right, I am! Hooray for birth control! Hooray for clear skin! Hooray for not wanting to rip my uterus out every month!
• At this moment in our lives we have decided that it is not the moment to be trying to introduce kids. There are many things left to do before we get bored enough to want to throw some more people in to the mix.
• I've been stressing in talking about this with JB. However, he's got his own shit going on. So . . . his response was, "OK. I've got some shit to take care of too." Or something equivalent to that. You know what I'm saying.
• I feel much better now, like a weight has been lifted.
  

Who else wants to see Mamma Mia?

1. Iron Jawed Angels. I threw this in to my Netflix queue out of curiosity, because my mom called me and said that I should watch it when I get a chance. This is the same mom that told me that I shouldn't struggle so hard for feminism, because it's never going to change. I didn't expect much, so I started the movie as I was getting in to bed, thinking that I would fall asleep and finish it tomorrow night. That was a mistake. Even with all of the historical inaccuracies, this movie was riveting to me. I could not turn it off! I watched it all of the way through, and then thought to myself, "Hey Self! Since you're up still anyway, why don't you go Google this Alice Paul woman to see how much of this movie is true?" Turns out that pretty much, it is. The only part that really resonated with me that wasn't true was the character Emily Leighton, who is a senator's wife in the movie, and turns in to a suffragette. Regardless, her fictional story was still fascinating because it highlighted how easy it was to treat women like chattel back in the day, and how far we've come. Mostly though, it inspired me to look in to doing more for women's rights.
2. We reportedly received our annual monsoon rainfall amount in one hour yesterday, and it kept raining. Consequently, people were stranded on the freeways, and we had the again the coverage of motorists who tried to ford the water and didn't make it. I would like to admonish those people, but if I was being totally honest, I would probably try myself. Because I'm stubborn. And also because, who wants to be stuck on the freeway?
3. JB needs a new job, seriously. He's a grump to be around right now.
4. Our stupid dogs need to not be afraid or uncomfortable or whatever the hell they are of the rain. It makes life difficult.
5. I have been looking for another job. The thing is, I'm always looking for another job. But . . . I may have found one or two that will suit me. That presents another dimension to the problem, is the leaving of the current job for a new one. I haven't even had an interview yet, so I'm being presumptuous, but I'm trying to plan now. How do you tell an employer that you're leaving because you disagree with the decisions and decision making methodology of the company? What complicates this is that my current company is not a bad company at all. However, they make decisions based mostly on the bottom line and budgets, at least when it comes to IT. This has led to a ton of (what I'm sure were good at the time) decisions that maybe weren't so good, and now have become issues. And living with the results of these decisions is incredibly difficult, especially when I'm not ever able to prevent more bad decisions from being made. Overall, I know that I'm not happy. I also know that it's a hella long commute. That's worth it when it's worth it. But when it's not, then it's not.
   

Here's the thing

1. Some people don't look good in heavy makeup. Actually, I think most people don't look good in heavy makeup. Why does no one tell them this? Some people actually look better in no makeup. If you know one of these unfortunates, and they trust you, please, help them out.
2. Studying is hard yo. No seriously, it's hard. I was reading this editorial in the paper on Sunday that was suggesting that we do open book testing. Their argument was based on the idea that knowing where to find the information is better than actually having meaningless information memorized. I see this logic as logical until we get to med school. "Wait, where's a good vein again? Let me Google that."
3. Everything I hate about Itunes has reared its ugly head.
4. Do you ever try to turn its in to a contraction, even though it's not supposed to be? I try to make its all possessive, like "it's hair", or "it's ugly head". Come on, I'm a college graduate for cryin' out loud! (Fer cryin' out loud? Fur cryin' out loud? Who would say, "For crying under your breath!" Is that an acceptable alternative?)
5. I am freaked out by the weird people I work with. Actually, it's more like work around, right now. A significant percentage of them are huggers. That is not cool with me. Additionally, it is common to invite the whole office to your wedding. I don't even know what to do, I'm so conflicted. Weddings? They seem intimate, and let's be honest, I feel like I'm too new in your life to know you that well. But . . . I love a party where people are in a good mood! (Gued mued? Gud Mud? Who goes to a party where people are in a bad mood? Maybe an emo party? Or some sort of cry it out festival?)
   
6. So, I have decided that after being married for 7 years that I want to go back to my birth name. JB has said (roughly paraphrasing) "Why stop there? Let's get divorced! But stay together!" Do I take the challenge? It kind of feels like a glove being thrown down, no? But it's all in good faith, not hostility. But still . . . .
   
7. I like sharp cheddar cheese. Please don't tell anyone, because it makes me feel tawdry and small. I don't know anything about cheeses, I've never had gouda or the like. However, I do love the Tillamook sharp cheddar cheese. A lot.
   

Maybe and then again maybe not

Here's the thing about trying to have a baby. First, I don't want to cop to trying, which is sort of ridiculous after all of this time. I don't want anyone to know that we're trying. And by trying, all I mean is that we're having sex without birth control now. How hard is that for trying? Maybe that's where my issue is, in that I don't feel like it's work, and am reluctant to label it as such. Plus, I don't want the pressure of people monitoring our sex life. Have we made the biology work yet?

Second, every tiny little body thing becomes a THING. Or at least, a potential THING. And JB is nonplussed by every thing, because there is not yet any proof that any thing is actually a THING. There are a lot of things going on this paragraph. I'm sorry for my English teachers right now. But even after re-reading it twice, I still feel like it's right.

Hi Jeff Fecke! And thank you!

"The fact is that when I see a woman who is attractive (or dressed attractively, which is not necessarily the same thing), I know that she isn't being attractive for my enjoyment. She is not a thing for me to use. She's a human being, doing her own thing."

What Reunion?

AT: did you spend the night or drove back?
Hyperboles: We stayed the night
AT: so nice getaway weekend
Hyperboles: Just a quick one
Hyperboles: It's all part of operation act 25
AT: no idea
Hyperboles: My latest scheme is called Operation Act 25
Hyperboles: for Team Hyperboles\
AT: ahh :)
AT: cool
AT: and here I was wondering why nothing came up on google :)
Hyperboles: lol
AT: wondering when you got so underground :)
Hyperboles: I stay true to my junk pop 40 self
Hyperboles: OMG, JBtotally busted my work face when he came up and met the two developers that I work with
AT: oh?
Hyperboles: They thought I was all cool, and he lets it slip that I have a Justin Timberlake album
AT: hahaha
Hyperboles: and I'm like, "Goddamn't! Keep that shit to yourself!"
AT: have you got the new kids on the block single?
Hyperboles: No
Hyperboles: I never hit that phase
AT: phew

Hans Zimmer's song lives in my head

Today was a better day, I think. I say I think because who knows? They're still some time before bed. I got some shit done, had some laughs, made some other people laugh.

The desert's middle fingers

I have this theory. I think that it's so fucking hot in the desert that the saguaro cacti (yeah, I said it) are just flipping us off out of spite. "Look at me with my juicy wet cactus insides! Stupid meatbag! Bwahahaha" That's probably why there aren't any saguaro anywhere else in the world. Yep, just us and our bitter plants.

I made it through today and only wanted to cry once. Somewhere I lost the ability to suck it up like an adult and piece it back out to the world.

God help me, everyone I know is pregnant or just had a baby. What the fuck.

My lower legs are sore. Thus I need new running shoes. And boo!

We are going to see Mike Ness this weekend. This is a spur of the moment, we are in our twenties decision. The 80 year old in me is questioning why. Shut up granny! We are living here!

It's normal to question every decision in the last 6 years, right?

Why do I pay for music still? Am I a sucka? Or, a person with integrity?

Smaller Carbon Footprint?

Um, will someone please find a significant reason as to why I cannot work from home in my robe most days? Not all days, mind you, but just most days? I'm pretty sure it's more green.

Commitment Issues

Dude, it's clear that I have commitment issues. I cannot even keep my shit together for more than a month at a time. Somewhere in between the trip to Washington and back to Arizona I lost all of the organizational skills that I used to pride myself on.

Here's the latest;

• Completed New York. Felt like I was going to die and it took everything in me to finish.
• Still running and am now swimming two or three times a week. OK, really two times a week. OK, really at least once a week.
• Started a new job. Woah.
• Started the process of getting my PMP. Woah.
• We are in the new house and it's really fucking expensive to have two houses. I don't know if you knew that, but if you didn't, you heard it here first.
• Being part of a family is hard.
• Because we are irresponsible and terrible people, we have decided to maybe possibly think about having a baby. So that's half a step past the negotiations that we've been having for the last 7 years. Keep tuned in for the next 3 years, because my god! We might actually do something about it!
• Both brothers have girlfriends and have had them for awhile. I'm still coping.
• I'm down to one brother within 25 miles and a little sad about it.
• I have discovered a love for turkey hot dogs that I never knew I had. Please don't tell Hippy, my new vegetarian and fuzzy feeling friend.
• Also new to the friends list, Fitz. He's pretty much awesome too.

Ready! Set! Go!

It's now July, the official time frame that we had discussed to start training for New York. It's suppose to hit close to 120 here this week as well, which means that we're meeting at 4:30, running at 4:45pm. Summertime is a bitch, but I'm committed now. I've purchased air tickets, and we're working on a place to stay. Plus, I've committed to Team For Kids, in order to be able to run. Go! Go! Go!

Wait, what?

I just saw some sort of commercial for some pink holiday thing where women go and get checked together, and there was something flashed across the bottom of the screen that said "Valley Ho". I think it was a novel. But still. For a second, I was pretty sure that they were trying to address their demographic as hos.

Last Comic Standing

I fricking love this show. I think it's smart, and hard, and funny when it's good, and sometimes funny when it's bad. I'm watching what I think is the first episode of the season, and I must say, I'm surprised at the number of female comedians that they have performing tonight. Even with my feminist living, there are not many female comedians that I care for, or think are truly funny. However, all of the women they had performing tonight, and I know there was at least 4, were funny. Yay!

Hello people

Life is very busy right now. Probably no busier for me than it is for you, but still busy none the less. And perhaps you're better than me and you're writing has not ever taken a dip no matter how busy you are. Stop judging me. I mean it!

"Oh! You fixed me spine!" If you've seen it, you know what I'm talking about.

I'm going to interview a comic book shop owner for a semester long class project. The good news; it may not be so bad. The bad news; I actually have to conduct this interview, which involved strangers, which, let's be honest, is not my forte.

My little brother has a girlfriend. A real, seems kinda serious girlfriend. I am dealing. Kind of.

We're circling our closing date on the new house. 60 days. Um, that's terrifying.

Summer appears to have arrived. It is hot. I actually felt a little grateful today that it was only 90 something degrees. Because I know that it seems counterintuitive, but there is a difference between 90 and 100 degrees. And 120 degrees.

I had my first incident of jealousy with JB this week. Well, first bout of irrational jealousy. It was weird, and I would prefer not to do that again.

Sex Bomb - Best Figure Skating EVER!

Today

Things that happened today:

We went to the Phoenix zoo.

We saw a newly born gazelle at the Phoenix zoo. It had been born at 12:03 pm, and we happened to walk by the exhibit 2 hours later as the mother was eating the afterbirth. As it was coming out of her vagina. I'm trying to be mature about this but it was difficult considering we had
just been violated by . . .

The male baboon in the baboon exhibit pleasuring himself to orgasm. He came over and sat directly in front of my step brother when we were looking in the glass. He then started pulling away, and next thing I know, 15 seconds later he was done. I'm pretty sure that he was making eye contact the whole time with my step brother.

There was a TON of awesome stuff at the zoo. Giraffes, turtles, tortoises, meerkats, wolves, owls, elephants, rhinos, lions, tigers, bears, and a bunch of others. It was great, our whole family was there, and it was a beautiful day.

Also, we started out the day having Easter Brunch at "A Different Point of View" at the Pointe. It was delicious, probably the best breakfast that I've ever had. And, just for the record, JB loves mimosas. Which is great, because a mimosa is a morning drink, and that just means that we can start drinking earlier in the day now.

"I don't want to talk to my kid!"

Ugh, that's not sisterhood

OK, how much do I hate those new "blond vs. brunette" commercials? I think they're for Sunsilk, but I could be wrong, and I hate them enough to not want to Google to find out. Have you seen them? They're the ones where blond women and brunette women are fighting, talking badly about each other, and overall trying to get the camera's attention. There's even one part where a blond says, "Nothing kills an after party like a pack of brunettes" and another where a brunette says something to the effect that brunettes are better because they can read. I hate them. I hate whoever thought it up. I hate that there are actresses who took the parts, even though they may have been starving actresses who needed the
money. I hate that again there are products being marketed on women tearing other women apart, that this is on the basis of looks, that we're supposed to laugh at it like it's not a big deal, thus confirming the patriarchy has succeeded again in undermining women a little bit.

I am crazy, but only sometimes.

I had some delicious Jamba Juice yesterday for lunch. While I was there, the guy asked me if I would like a free sample of their new all fruit smoothie, something with something something and pomegranate. And I replied, "Hell yeah!" because I am a sucker for anything pomegranate. Were we not conserving currency at TeamHyperboles HQ, we would be bathing in Pom. So I tried the sample, and it was delicious like I thought it would be, as most things Jamba are. The sample came in this supercute Jamba sample cup. I liked the cup, so I took it back to work with me. However, I'm sitting here at work with the cup. It's really too small to do anything with, other than serve samples. I am confused as to why I ever thought it was a good idea to bring trash back to work. Even if it is cute miniature trash, it's still trash.