Tiger Tragedy

For Christmas, JB's mom sent our dogs a stocking full of fun dog toys. Toys that squeaked, bounced, could be retrieved, or hidden in the backyard. Immediately, Bender chose a favorite, the stuffed Tiger. Tiger has a squeaker in his stomach, which provides hours of amusement. However, Tiger is also plushy, which appeals to Bender's demon destructive side. Within five minutes of picking up Tiger, he immediately began to pull out his beard, leaving white puffs of synthetic fur all around the living room of further proof of his manliness. My solution was to sneak Tiger away and trim the beard to an unpullable length. Problem solved, right? Wrong. This is what I came out to this morning . . .

Poor, poor Tiger. He was lying face down from the shame of being De-tailed, I just know it. As I was rushed for time, I picked him up and set him on the counter, before Bender saw me. You can't see it from the picture, but I was worried that if I just left him out, that he would be disemboweled via the small butthole that Bender had wrought him. I also saved the tail, but without putting it on ice, because it was obvious that the detachment had been too long, and that it couldn't be re-attached. Why did I save it, you ask? Because I'm macabre! But with toys!
Later today, after order Chinese food for strength, I decided to attempt surgery on Tiger, to repair his new orifice. Here's an example of why I hid him from Bender in the first place.








This is clearly the carnivorous dance of joy, complete with head shaking, jumping, and licking of chops. This is what happens when Bender sees something he wants to pulverize.

So, I set about repairing Tiger. As I said before, the tail could not be saved. After a quick operation, Tiger was less one orifice, plus one scar. Good as new. Look, even check out the surgery site.
When I was done, I gave Tiger back to Bender. And I gave the tail to the KZ. Why go through the trouble to repair him, only to give him back to his torturer? Because I'm macabre! But with toys! (Plus, who can resist this?)

Help out St. Jude's

Linking for Dollars

Oh Google, how I love thee

Via www.informit.com

Exploring Google's Hidden Features

Questions Couples Should Ask (Or Wish They Had) Before Marrying

(With one caveat, that the title be changed to "Questions Couples Should Ask (Or Wish They Had) Before Committing, because not all couples are allowed to marry.

Via the New York Times;

1) Have we discussed whether or not to have children, and if the answer is yes, who is going to be the primary care giver?

2) Do we have a clear idea of each other’s financial obligations and goals, and do our ideas about spending and saving mesh?

3) Have we discussed our expectations for how the household will be maintained, and are we in agreement on who will manage the chores?

4) Have we fully disclosed our health histories, both physical and mental?

5) Is my partner affectionate to the degree that I expect?

6) Can we comfortably and openly discuss our sexual needs, preferences and fears?

7) Will there be a television in the bedroom?

8) Do we truly listen to each other and fairly consider one another’s ideas and complaints?

9) Have we reached a clear understanding of each other’s spiritual beliefs and needs, and have we discussed when and how our children will be exposed to religious/moral education?

10) Do we like and respect each other’s friends?

11) Do we value and respect each other’s parents, and is either of us concerned about whether the parents will interfere with the relationship?

12) What does my family do that annoys you?

13) Are there some things that you and I are NOT prepared to give up in the marriage?

14) If one of us were to be offered a career opportunity in a location far from the other’s family, are we prepared to move?

15) Does each of us feel fully confident in the other’s commitment to the marriage and believe that the bond can survive whatever challenges we may face?

Kickass Article

An article about the benefits of birth control.

Things that I have learned today

That I am not an official IT person.

That it really doesn't matter if I'm not an official IT person, as long as I sound like I know what I'm doing.

The scanner will always jam when I walk away, and always not jam when I'm watching.

That today feels like Friday, but in fact, it is not.

I know I'm out of school, but the reading just keeps going

Via Twisty, at I Blame The Patriarchy

"Patriarchal concepts are […] built into all the mental constructs of […] civilization in such a way as to remain largely invisible. [Patriarchy] gradually institutionalized the rights of men to control and appropriate the sexual and reproductive services of women. Out of this form of dominance developed other forms of dominance, such as slavery. Once established as a functioning system of complex hierarchical relationships patriarchy transformed sexual, social, economic, relations and dominated all systems of ideas. In the course of the establishment of patriarchy and constantly reinforced as the result of it, the major idea systems which explain and order Western civilization incorporated a set of unstated assumptions about gender, which powerfully affected the development of history and human thought."

You can dance if you want to

New Years plans. We don't have any yet. The thing is, on most days, I don't like crowds. And New Years is exceptionally crowded. And the crowd as a whole is drunk. Speaking of drunk, I feel that it is time to get uproariously drunk. It has been awhile, so I'm probably due anyway. If only I could drink at work without giving myself away . . .

Let's see. Marathon training? Check. School's out for the semester? Check. Final grades yet? Not yet. Work busy? Check. Christmas stuff done? Mostly check. Naps? Working on it.

Oh Wednesday, you are not the day of week I want to wake up with.

Status

I ran 18 miles today. Previously, I had never run more than 12. I am elated!

*Special thanks to AT, because I turned my IPod on at 12 miles, and it helped tremendously.

Goal Achievement

JB has earned his EMT National Registry thing. Yay!

Status

18 mile run tomorrow. Nervous.

Waiting and waiting and waiting

Good morning! I could have gotten up at 5 am today, because I was already up and walking around, but I decided to cuddle with my husband. I wonder if his semi-conscious self even benefits from early morning cuddles, or if he's just sleeping and I'm putting more meaning into it than there really is.

There is a little more than a month left until the marathon. I am beat up and sore right now. I've got some chafing issues from my sports bra. I think that the blisters that turned into callouses on my feet will probably never go away. Let me tell you, running is hawt. No, that's a lie. Please don't believe it. Other wise you too could end up 6 miles away from your home on the side of a canal with the only means of getting back home being your feet and legs which have already done 30+ miles that week and are really truly done with it all. Oh, I kid. I like the running. I like the training I'm doing right now. I'm just feeling a little under the weather.

Finals are over and I'm waiting for my grades, so I can submit the remainder of my tuition reimbursement request. (After finding out that my books are going to be $500 next semester, I need it yesterday) This is the first semester in awhile where I really don't know what direction my teachers are going to go in as far as my grades. I've got one teacher that I think (think, not know, because he never made it clear) has given me 100% on every assignment just for turning it in. And then the other teacher would let me have a C if I "only" score an 85% in the class. So we'll see how that goes.

Christmas time is here, and I've been listening to carols and getting into the spirit. Funds have been lacking so we're doing things a little differently this year, but I think it's going to be a good Christmas anyway. We're home, and JB's not out to sea and we're in our home, and all of that good stuff. I'm hoping that we have a smooth transition into the New Year too, because I think that next year is going to be even more fun than this year. Here is a picture of the KZ, excited.

Octopus Eats Shark

I've told this story at least a dozen times, and here's the video proof.

Octopus escaping through a 1 inch hole

Octopuses have an amazing ability to squeeze through tiny crevices, cracks and holes. My fall BIOS independent studies student, Raymond Deckel is investigating just how small a hole Octopus macropus can fit through as well as how long it takes them to squeeze through different sizes of holes. CAABS intern Rowena Day, NSF-REU intern Jared Kibele as well as teaching assistant Abel Valdivia help wrangle the 232 g octopus, Ray times it’s escape through a 1 inch hole while I shot video clips for later analysis. Location: Whalebone Bay, St. George’s, Bermuda. Dr. James B. Wood - BIOS The Cephalopod Page

"Quiet Warfare"

"Few have been paying attention to that other ongoing terrorist threat"

Note to Self

Find a suitable (preferably non-violent) (actually, preferably violent, but really it needs to be nonviolent) response, retort, comeback, reply, rejoinder, reaction, riposte for when the Big Chauvinist calls me Young Lady again.

Twinkle twinkle little stars . . .

Can I just say that one of my favorite parts about this time of year is the Christmas lights that people put up? To me, a house with Christmas lights means that whoever lives inside has a little bit of heart. (I would like to take a moment to point out that the known wife beater in our neighborhood does not have lights up. Thus, the results of my less than scientific study.) This is the first year that we've had a house to put Christmas lights on, and I'm super stoked about that. We put them up today, and even thought they are the kind of small lights, I think that they're beautiful. Beautimous even.

Found and true . . .

"I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman." - Anais Nin

Embarrassing Moments

Great idea from M. Kennedy.

Times that it sucked to be me.

1. When I lied to my little brother when we were (much) younger, and then he found out. I went from cool older sister to betrayer in a few short words.
2. When I let that witch, L, get to me in Virginia and I broke down at work. She will forever be a witch, and if I ever see her again in a non-work atmosphere (highly unlikely now that I'm across the country), I'm going to beat her down like she deserves.
3. The other day when I hung up with AT, and felt like, all of a sudden, he may not like me anymore because I'm a bit boring.
4. Again the other day, but another other day, when one of my new bosses asked me to go to lunch on the company so we could talk about some of the tech plans we had, and I invited my work friend because that's just what I normally do for lunch. Totally professional I am not.
5. Anytime I have tried to talk and have gotten so excited about what I'm saying that the words just get stuck at the opening of my mouth, and nothing comes out right so I sound like a nattering idiot. (Illustration below) (I have no ears because I don't know how to draw ears.)

Giving some thanks

I am thankful for . . .

1. My health
   
2. Being marred to JB
   
3. Being home, with my family
4. My little furry dogs
5. Our beautiful cozy home
6. AT
7. KV
8. SF
   
9. The presence of happiness in our life
   
10. Having a job that is (now) letting me grow a little
    
11. Being able to go to school, and being so close to done.
12. AZ sunrises
13. AZ sunsets
14. AZ winters (Hello 80 degree Thanksgiving!)
15. My awesome running shorts
16. Twizzlers twerps
17. Barnes and Noble
18. Karmel Sutra Ice cream
19. The flowers in my backyard
20. Netflix

What's the mileage on these babies?

I ran 8 miles today. That in and of itself isn't really a super achievement for my body. However, these particular 8 miles were following the 10 I did yesterday. That is 18 miles in one weekend. And I'm conscious right now. So . . . that's good.

I ran 32 miles this week. (6, then 8, then 10, then 8) That's probably the most I've ever run in one week ever. I have some blisters and some chafing, but I'm going to live.

While running, I sometimes check out for a mile or so. I have an awesome running partner in The Mom, but we have spent the majority of our runs this year not talking. Because we are not talking, I am free to let my mind wander while my body roams. And every once in awhile, it comes back, and sees that my body has made another couple miles of progress while it was out. Today was not one of those days. My mind was present for every single mile. The problem with this is that running is best not overthought. When it's overthought it becomes a burden, a weight that will drag down my legs and hurt my form.

I ran 8 miles today. I think I'm going to take a nap.

This accounts for the sinking feeling I had earlier this year . . .

Via the Daily Kos.

Below, a transcript from an ABC interview with John McCain, who may very well be running for pres in 2008. Go here to see the post from Think Progress, which has the video.

*************

STEPHANOPOULOS: Let me ask one question about abortion. Then I want to turn to Iraq. You’re for a constitutional amendment banning abortion, with some exceptions for life and rape and incest.

MCCAIN: Rape, incest and the life of the mother. Yes.

STEPHANOPOULOS: So is President Bush, yet that hasn’t advanced in the six years he’s been in office. What are you going to do to advance a constitutional amendment that President Bush hasn’t done?

MCCAIN: I don’t think a constitutional amendment is probably going to take place, but I do believe that it’s very likely or possible that the Supreme Court should — could overturn Roe v. Wade, which would then return these decisions to the states, which I support.

STEPHANOPOULOS: And you’d be for that?

MCCAIN: Yes, because I’m a federalist. Just as I believe that the issue of gay marriage should be decided by the states, so do I believe that we would be better off by having Roe v. Wade return to the states. And I don’t believe the Supreme Court should be legislating in the way that they did on Roe v. Wade.

(Emphasis added.)

My favorite comic ever right now in life.

Felons and Votings

I just read this totally interesting article in Time (online of course, and I apologize because I don't have the time to find it again to link) about felons and voting. Apparently there are states where you're banned from voting for forever if you commit a felony. Part of me is like, "OK, that makes sense. Who wants criminals running part of the system?" But, this article goes on to state that there are (for example) people who've written bad checks, agreed to pay them, but have still been convicted of a felonious crime and are unable to vote because of some additions to this particular state's constitutional list of felonies. This makes me think that I was initially wrong. The article ends up by saying the criminals that have served their time in jail and paid their debt to society should not only be allowed to vote, that they should be required to vote.

After thinking about this for awhile, I think that it would push more people to the polls as well. Because . . . who would want a bunch of criminals to run part of the system?

Because it wasn't like I'm ever on time

My God. Why do I do this? Why, when running precisely 3 minutes ahead of schedule do I decide, "Yeah, maybe I need to update ITunes like the prompt says." Even though I know that doing so will then make me half an hour late for work. I am an idiot. And here I am, "Validating Install."

I don't want to alarm anyone, but it is now the first day of November. As in, second to last month of the entire year November. As in, Christmas is coming you fools and you better be prepared. As in, where the hell did the year go?

"Registering Modules"

Today when grabbing my lunch out of the fridge, I noticed that JB had somehow snuck a disgusting confection of German Chocolate cake into our house without me noticing, so that I could remind him yet again that German Chocolate cake is gross, (imagine why he didn't tell me about it now). It was sitting in the fridge calmly, but what was most peculiar was that there was a fork on top of it. Like it needed to be refrigerated as well, for the German Chocolate experience to be good. Or perhaps we were running out of forks and I had no idea. Or maybe there was something particular about the mixture of this fork and German Chocolate cake that made it divine. Either way, it's strange. And now the fork is in the dishwasher, because I can't abide by my flatware kicking it with the wrong crowd.

"Click Finish to end the Installer"

Opting Out vs being Pushed Out

This is superlong, and I found it on Feministing, but I think that it's a really good read. If you read nothing else today, make sure it's this. It's super relevant and not frivolous.

The headline made me think funny . . . and now I'm just sad.

If they are now "display[ing] psychological traits previously only observed in people" what does that say about us?

Good effing lord

I don't even have the words. I will leave it to someone much more eloquent than I, considering the horrific subject matter.

Reason 756

Reason 756 that I love JB and am so glad that we are married.

The other day, probably about a week ago, both of my alarms went off. One of them is my cel phone and it plays music. The other is an annoying beeper one, and it kind of sounds like an oven or kitchen timer. As I'm grumbling and fumbling around the bedroom to turn them off, he starts moving around on the bed, indicating life as well. I crawl back into bed for some cuddling before I start my day, and he rolls over, and sleepily asks me, "Are you market fresh?"

I think he was talking in his sleep and doesn't remember this.

Dear Prudie Sucks

Dear Prudie,
I am thrilled to be expecting my first child and have just started to really show. I have been fortunate to not have experienced any morning sickness, but have developed a slightly irritable personality for the first time in my life. I can rein it in most of the time. However, I face one increasingly recurring problem that causes me to be instinctively rude almost immediately. I can't stand people, especially mere acquaintances, touching my stomach without invitation. The only person I like rubbing my belly is my sweet husband. I like people, just not having their hands all over me. I don't chop off fingers, but I do jump back and remove the offending hands and tell them not to touch. This results in aghast faces, but I think it's awful for people to assume they can touch a pregnant woman's belly at will and expect it to be welcome. As I still have months to go, I just need some suggestions on how to politely tell people that I am not the Pillsbury Doughgirl. Also, can I get a plug in here for a public service announcement letting people know that they should always ask before reaching for a pregnant belly?

—Hands Off, Please

Dear Hands,
Here's your announcement, and of course, no one should be touched if they don't want to be. Having said that, I have a big but about big bellies. Seeing a woman bursting with new life is so lovely that it can be an almost uncontrollable impulse to pat her belly. I remember feeling really warm toward the (almost exclusively) female hands that reached out to touch my growing baby. The touch was always accompanied by good wishes or another woman's memory of her own pregnancy. Can you try to think of these well-meaning hands as a communion that's been going on since humans became human? When you remove a hand (and isn't it rare for the touch to last more than a moment?) as if it is a dead carp, you certainly get your message across. But if you could relax about this, you will find it is truly a self-limiting problem. In a few months your belly will be yours again. But you should prepare yourself for the time when everyone who patted your stomach is going to want to hold your irresistible baby.

—Prudie

OK, here's the thing. Dear Prudie's take on the situation is that your should grin and bear it while people put their grimy, only god knows where they've been hands all over your nice pregnant belly. Not only should you grin and bear it, but you should relax, because this "communion" of humans is going on.

Two words. FUCK THAT. Here's what I think. I like to touch pregnant bellies. However, I ask before I start to molest so poor mother to be, because she's already got enough shit going on, and who am I to physically invade her space, when she's already hosting another being? I think that Dear Prudie should have instead recommended that this woman slap every person who touches her without asking across the face. We'll call it aversion therapy. As a matter of fact, if all pregnant women started doing this, we would probably be doing the world a favor.

A nip at my toes

Today I went to the ole Barnes and Noble, to spend the awesome gift cards that I received for my birthday. I was in the mood to spend some money, and had none, other than these fabulous plastic passes to bookworm paradise. Long story short, I bought 5 books for sixty dollars. I'm set for 2, maybe 3 months, depending on my school and work schedule.

Even earlier today, I stopped somewhere else to get little birthday details for JB. While I was out, I came across a little cross-stitch kit that I thought my mom would love. I bought it without a second thought, though now it occurs to me that I haven't cross-stitched in over a year.

Even earlier than that today, I was cold and stopped to consider if flip flops were the best footwear option for work today. I left them as they were on my feet, but ending up turning on my little portable heater at work for most of the morning. I just need to find some real shoes. I'm sure I still have some, somewhere.

Arizona winter is on it's way, and subconsciously I'm preparing for warmer clothes and inside activities.

Glad they're caught, sad they're even out there

"Fed Net 125 Nationwide in Kid-Porn Case"

Great googly moogly. Crap like this makes me vomitious, and question the sanity of bring more poor people into this pathetic world. How much rationalization goes on in their sick sick heads? How do they live and function next to people who don't hurt the innocent, without anyone noticing their clear non congruence with all that's supposed to be right in the world?

Who's running over an hour late?

Why is it that when you oversleep that's when you get the best heavy sleep? Does something have to be stolen for it to be good? I slept so deep last night that I felt like I had a huge mass that I had to move off of my chest before I could even begin to think about getting up.

I like sleep. I like beds and covers. I love JB. All of those things being considered, I'm still pretty irritated that he somehow Rubiks cubed his way into owning all of the flat sheet, so that I had only the comforter to protect me from the world, and the flat sheet was halfway down the bed, and you know that my OCD poked me in the back to wake me up and tell that the bed was irreparably damaged and that no more sleeping could occur until it was fixed. Which it couldn't be because when JB sleeps he gains about 300 pounds and becomes an immovable mass of human muscle, bone, and flesh. However, with a little maneuvering, I was able to get part of the sheet back. It's only a small battle in a big war.

I know it's probably not meant to be as funny as I found it, but can you blame me for laughing at this?

"Read the labels on your food. It turns out the healthiest thing you can put in your body is Mark Foley's penis. He was probably the first fruit those pages ever came into contact with that wasn't drenched in pesticide." (from Bill Maher @ Salon)

Mat

Oh yeah, for those who made the jump with me. Welcome.

Good to know, good to know