Target Women - Feed Your F***ing Family

Shifting of weight . . .

• Guess who's going back on birth control? That's right, I am! Hooray for birth control! Hooray for clear skin! Hooray for not wanting to rip my uterus out every month!
• At this moment in our lives we have decided that it is not the moment to be trying to introduce kids. There are many things left to do before we get bored enough to want to throw some more people in to the mix.
• I've been stressing in talking about this with JB. However, he's got his own shit going on. So . . . his response was, "OK. I've got some shit to take care of too." Or something equivalent to that. You know what I'm saying.
• I feel much better now, like a weight has been lifted.
  

Who else wants to see Mamma Mia?

1. Iron Jawed Angels. I threw this in to my Netflix queue out of curiosity, because my mom called me and said that I should watch it when I get a chance. This is the same mom that told me that I shouldn't struggle so hard for feminism, because it's never going to change. I didn't expect much, so I started the movie as I was getting in to bed, thinking that I would fall asleep and finish it tomorrow night. That was a mistake. Even with all of the historical inaccuracies, this movie was riveting to me. I could not turn it off! I watched it all of the way through, and then thought to myself, "Hey Self! Since you're up still anyway, why don't you go Google this Alice Paul woman to see how much of this movie is true?" Turns out that pretty much, it is. The only part that really resonated with me that wasn't true was the character Emily Leighton, who is a senator's wife in the movie, and turns in to a suffragette. Regardless, her fictional story was still fascinating because it highlighted how easy it was to treat women like chattel back in the day, and how far we've come. Mostly though, it inspired me to look in to doing more for women's rights.
2. We reportedly received our annual monsoon rainfall amount in one hour yesterday, and it kept raining. Consequently, people were stranded on the freeways, and we had the again the coverage of motorists who tried to ford the water and didn't make it. I would like to admonish those people, but if I was being totally honest, I would probably try myself. Because I'm stubborn. And also because, who wants to be stuck on the freeway?
3. JB needs a new job, seriously. He's a grump to be around right now.
4. Our stupid dogs need to not be afraid or uncomfortable or whatever the hell they are of the rain. It makes life difficult.
5. I have been looking for another job. The thing is, I'm always looking for another job. But . . . I may have found one or two that will suit me. That presents another dimension to the problem, is the leaving of the current job for a new one. I haven't even had an interview yet, so I'm being presumptuous, but I'm trying to plan now. How do you tell an employer that you're leaving because you disagree with the decisions and decision making methodology of the company? What complicates this is that my current company is not a bad company at all. However, they make decisions based mostly on the bottom line and budgets, at least when it comes to IT. This has led to a ton of (what I'm sure were good at the time) decisions that maybe weren't so good, and now have become issues. And living with the results of these decisions is incredibly difficult, especially when I'm not ever able to prevent more bad decisions from being made. Overall, I know that I'm not happy. I also know that it's a hella long commute. That's worth it when it's worth it. But when it's not, then it's not.
   

Here's the thing

1. Some people don't look good in heavy makeup. Actually, I think most people don't look good in heavy makeup. Why does no one tell them this? Some people actually look better in no makeup. If you know one of these unfortunates, and they trust you, please, help them out.
2. Studying is hard yo. No seriously, it's hard. I was reading this editorial in the paper on Sunday that was suggesting that we do open book testing. Their argument was based on the idea that knowing where to find the information is better than actually having meaningless information memorized. I see this logic as logical until we get to med school. "Wait, where's a good vein again? Let me Google that."
3. Everything I hate about Itunes has reared its ugly head.
4. Do you ever try to turn its in to a contraction, even though it's not supposed to be? I try to make its all possessive, like "it's hair", or "it's ugly head". Come on, I'm a college graduate for cryin' out loud! (Fer cryin' out loud? Fur cryin' out loud? Who would say, "For crying under your breath!" Is that an acceptable alternative?)
5. I am freaked out by the weird people I work with. Actually, it's more like work around, right now. A significant percentage of them are huggers. That is not cool with me. Additionally, it is common to invite the whole office to your wedding. I don't even know what to do, I'm so conflicted. Weddings? They seem intimate, and let's be honest, I feel like I'm too new in your life to know you that well. But . . . I love a party where people are in a good mood! (Gued mued? Gud Mud? Who goes to a party where people are in a bad mood? Maybe an emo party? Or some sort of cry it out festival?)
   
6. So, I have decided that after being married for 7 years that I want to go back to my birth name. JB has said (roughly paraphrasing) "Why stop there? Let's get divorced! But stay together!" Do I take the challenge? It kind of feels like a glove being thrown down, no? But it's all in good faith, not hostility. But still . . . .
   
7. I like sharp cheddar cheese. Please don't tell anyone, because it makes me feel tawdry and small. I don't know anything about cheeses, I've never had gouda or the like. However, I do love the Tillamook sharp cheddar cheese. A lot.
   

Maybe and then again maybe not

Here's the thing about trying to have a baby. First, I don't want to cop to trying, which is sort of ridiculous after all of this time. I don't want anyone to know that we're trying. And by trying, all I mean is that we're having sex without birth control now. How hard is that for trying? Maybe that's where my issue is, in that I don't feel like it's work, and am reluctant to label it as such. Plus, I don't want the pressure of people monitoring our sex life. Have we made the biology work yet?

Second, every tiny little body thing becomes a THING. Or at least, a potential THING. And JB is nonplussed by every thing, because there is not yet any proof that any thing is actually a THING. There are a lot of things going on this paragraph. I'm sorry for my English teachers right now. But even after re-reading it twice, I still feel like it's right.

Hi Jeff Fecke! And thank you!

"The fact is that when I see a woman who is attractive (or dressed attractively, which is not necessarily the same thing), I know that she isn't being attractive for my enjoyment. She is not a thing for me to use. She's a human being, doing her own thing."